Conversation
Mom:Hello, is this my son?
Me:Hey mom. Why do you always ask that when you call? You are calling my phone. If it picks up, I am the one picking it up.
Mom:Sometimes other people pick up other people's phones.
Me:Nobody does that. Only crazy people do that.
Mom:I do that. Does that make me crazy?
Me:I'm too smart to try to respond to that question. Pass!
Mom:I was just calling to say hi and to make sure you weren't occupying Wall Street.
Me:I'm not, but I did go down there to check it out.
Mom:Don't do that! The protesters will kill you!
Me:It's fine!
Mom:What if someone had a bomb?
Me:Um, they don't have bombs.
Mom:You sure? One hundred percent sure?
Me:Ninety-nine percent sure! (Beat. And then nothing from my mother.) I'm pretty sure these people don't have bombs. Most of them are probably just like me. And I don't have any bombs.
Mom:But what about terrorists? Detonating a bomb with so many people around is something a terrorist might do.
Me:That never even crossed my mind, and I can't believe you are imagining this nightmarish scenario.
Mom:That's what moms do. Create these scenarios so that you don't do things that will get you killed.
Notes
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